For Grandpa

                Imagine this is the first day of school and the teacher asks for an essay about your summer.  I would start with the word bittersweet and there might even be tears in English class.  I’m referring to the sorrow and joy that blend to create the odd experience known to all as “growing up”.  If I were 15 years younger, I would be preparing to spend time with my cousins at the rural home of our grandparents.  In years past, we spent our time watching movies that were too loud for Grandma, consuming more calories than is normal at Sonic, eating Oreos and popcorn at the local drive-in theater, and swimming in the local river.  We consumed copious amounts of hamburgers, vanilla ice cream, homemade bread, and Grandma’s strawberry jam.  We stayed up too late, got up too early, and wore ourselves out entertaining each other.  We are also a very theatrical family, so you could pretty much count on there being a show.

                It is not easy to forget summers filled with learning to drive, fireworks, late-night talks, and too little sleep.  Summers that are filled with road trips, American landmarks, and a lot of sun.  Summers that sometimes include camping, cookouts, and imagination.  Summer breaks are a great time to reconnect with family.  I’m thankful for the memories made growing up at my Grandparent’s home.  I’m thankful for my cousins who are both spiritual family and best friends. 

                In addition to the special bond we formed as cousins, that continues to this day, we also sat close as Grandpa told stories and Grandma read from the Bible and prayed for us.  We listened closely as they debated the same things every day in their unique and loving way, waiting to catch the wink from Grandpa that often followed.  At Grandpa’s death, they were married almost 70 years.  

                This summer, there won’t be a crowd at Grandma’s house.  We’re mostly adults now.  A married cousin has a beautiful one year old son.  Another is about to marry a godly man, that Grandpa never got to meet, but I’m confident he would love as much as we do.  Cousins are on break from high school and college, in the midst of graduate school, work, or international travel plans.  As the family grows up (but not older), making time together is harder and more precious.  We rarely gather at the country homestead anymore.  The presence of Grandma, the love we have for each other, and the common love we share for Jesus tie us together across miles and bring us together in our respective homes. 

 

                Yet, the loss of our anchor in Grandpa is keenly felt.  His hugs and kisses, his prayers, his stories, and his spiritual headship shaped the lives of his 8 granddaughters, 3 grandsons, and 2 grandsons-in-love in ways that will be felt for years to come.  His love influenced the choice of men who have married into this family.  Boyfriends that Grandpa didn’t approve of did not stick around for long.  The last time we were all together before his death, his granddaughters sang to him:

“I want to marry Grandpa when I grow up.

I want to live with Grandpa when I grow up.

My Grandpa is the sweetest man that you will ever see.

I love for him to hold my hand and cuddle up with me.

If I could marry Grandpa when I grow up,

I’d be as good as any girl could be.

I’d wash my face and comb my hair and show him that I really care.

If I could marry Grandpa when I grow up.”

(adapted from Ron Hamilton’s I Want To Marry Daddy)

                These words are clearly not realistic, but it was our joy to sing them almost every summer as a reminder of how much we loved Grandpa.  The last time I saw my Grandpa alive, he wasn’t able to call me or my sister by name.  Yet, when Grandma said we were his beautiful granddaughters, he replied, “Yes, they are.”  He didn’t need to recall me specifically to know that we loved him and that he loved us.  It was just his way.  

                As we gather in a few weeks to celebrate a family wedding, we will remember Grandpa on what would have been his 94th birthday and his and Grandma’s 71st anniversary.  Even though this summer and all those still to come will look different from the years of braces, bangs, and butterfly clips (think 1999), I’m thankful that summers are still for family.               

Copyright July 28, 2014 *thewifeoflee*